Dave and Rene descend on Santo

The first visitors from NZ have finally made it! Dave and Rene arrived for 10 days of fun, frivolity and a taste of island life 'volunteer style'. After a relaxing first night, we headed out for a kava bar crawl: three different kava bars in Charpie, with Jack our resident kiwi guide. With mama's selling island kakae at the second kava bar, we had an opportunity to dine on Sambora, laplap, poulet fish and papaya... although the mud crabs may have been a little dodgy.

#tip number 1: avoid the seafood unless you're really sure of cooking methods

#tip number 2: don't kakae anything you can't peel or haven't washed yourself

Dave and Rene explored Luganville, Dave did the Millennium Cave tour, we went horse riding on a farm owned by a kiwi women, interspersed with a number of trips to Aore Island Resort for swimming, snorkling and lunch.

The Aore Swim was also on while they were here. I got he message that it was about to start 20mins beforehand, so raced down, managed to get on a small banana boat, and got to watch the 2.6km race closeup. Andrew was swimming, and came middle of the field, with the winner making it across in 27 minutes.

For the weekend before tufala go back long Neu Sialan (NZ), Rene and I played netball on Saturday afternoon (hot tumas!!!) and then we decided to go for a trip to Loru Protected Area, to sate Dave's bird-watching appetite, and then the classic trip to Champagne Beach and a Blue Hole. Arriving at Loru (only just though, as the wheel of our transport was sounding fairly dodgy), we met Chief Caleb and then headed out to the protected area with his son Calsekap. The walk included a variety of vegetation and apparently we saw a couple of the few endemic bird species of Vanuatu. We also saw a Namalao (megapode or incubator bird) which is a protected species here. Dave and Rene also got the opportunity to taste some classic island kakae when you go bush... including of course coconuts.

Then it was off to Champagne Beach for some swimming, relaxing, clown fish and kakae, then to Matevulou Blue Hole for the standard rinse before heading home for a final kava and kakae at our favourite chinease restaurant: Ocean King (I'll have the lemon chicken, and save room for deep fried ice cream... ummmmm).

Updates: June

Jess with Desmond, baby Elvis and family, for a final laplap kakae.


The final deck party... is it a ship?!

The two misis and their masta...

The girls: Elizabeth, Jess, Isabelle, Sarah and Eva... nice tattoos!


An example of the piracy on offer...

Well, there’s been a few adventures of late, with the trip to Pentecost, my first Ni-Vanuatu wedding, interspersed with the usual soccer tournaments, kakae with friends and parties with the expats. So plenty of new stories for you to read : )

With Jess leaving there were plenty of farewell parties, most notably the sailors party the night before she left. It also allowed us to catch up with Ni-Vanuatu friends, sharing kakae, laplap and storianing.

It appears to be the season of Baby Doc’s, with up to 25 student doctors at one time descending on Luganville over the next couple of months. Not sure exactly how many will actually get into the hospital, but it is now accepted that this elective for them is more holiday than work experience.

Work is slowly picking up speed. Luganville appears to be a town on the cusp of substantial new developments, so there’s a number of interesting projects requiring Environmental Impact Assessments. So far, I’ve been making assessments for proposed marina’s, jetty’s, cultural centres and quarrying activities. With the international airport here looking to get more flights from Australia through AirVanuatu, rather than just Solomon Airlines, there seems to be a lot of potential for growth here.

The teaching at Kamewa is going well. I’m now doing individual reading with pikinini from year 5. As with any place there is a large range in ability. Generally, reading is done as a group. Unfortunately, because resources are so limited, the kids end up basically memorizing the stories so at the end of the year they are just about able to tell you the page number and story off by heart. Hopefully the individual reading time is helping.

The weather finally changed about a month ago now, so while the days are still fairly hot, there is no need for a fan at night. The change is also reflected in the market, where tomatoes and oranges are starting to come into season. You do know that you’ve acclimatized when the blue holes, at a temperature of 24 degrees Celcius, are considered cold.

The first visitors from New Zealand, Dave and Rene, are heading this way on Saturday. So it will be nice to spend some time showing them the sights and delights of Santo. The first adventure will be horse riding at a station south of Luganville on Sunday.

Lukem yu!

Where bungy jumping began: Land diving in Pentecost

A couple of months ago, Peter from the Maritime College had suggested that the College’s flagship, Euphrosyne II, could be used for a trip to Pentecost to see the land diving. As April and May passed with no word about a trip, I assumed that my chance to look at the land diving would come next year, since they restrict jumping to these months. However, a week ago the call came that the trip might be on, if 10 or more people could be convinced.

So finally with a group of fifteen, and after a few bevies at Beachfront Resort, we set off from the Maritime College wharf at 9.30pm on Friday night. We steamed out of Segond Channel, the lights of Luganville to Port, Aore Island to Starboard, and then hit the open water where the similarities to a washing machine began. A pity I didn’t bring some of that hand washing to do! Also a pity that I might have gone a bit overboard with the tuskers… so I retired to my mat on the floor, with a few quick dashes to make sure the fish were adequately fed.

We arrived at 6.30am to a mist cloaked Pentecost, and waited for a few hours while various small boats overflowing with pikinini and people from other villages cruised in, and small planes from Vila landed. The land diving tower was built behind Lonorore Airport, 5 minutes walk up a small hill.

The tower itself is built from wood and jungle vines, and as we arrived the jumpers were preparing their platforms and vines. Soon the smol boys and men in their nambas began their chanting and singing to encourage the divers at a cleared area above the tower. Soon they were joined by the smol girls and women, as the first of the divers stood to make their jump.

Seven men jumped in total, at various heights up the tower. There were the comedians, showmen and entertainers, with the tower set in the humid jungle of south Pentecost, overlooking coconut plantations and the ocean between Pentecost and Ambrym.

We returned to the boat after the diving, with a few of us swimming to the boat for our morning exercise. Then it was back to Santo, the trip being much more sedate as we traveled with the wind and waves. So for another 8 or so hours we spel smol, kakae smol, storian smol, lukluk ol islands (Ambae, Malekula, Malo) and eventually reached Segond Channel after dusk, with phosphorescence in our wake and flying fish beside us. Definitely the quickest (less than 24 hours) adventure in Vanuatu!

Cruise Ship Day

Cruise ship day is a phenomenon that really has to be scene to believed. At around 7am, a floating hotel docks at the main wharf and for the day, and over 1500 mainly white Australian tourists invade the streets of Luganville, returning to the ship to sail away to another destination…

On cruise ship day, the streets to the main wharf are lined with stalls selling souvenirs to the tourists… island dresses, grass skirts, shells etc. With a few coconut crab shirts to move before the new stock came in, we decided to hold a stall.

Despite being the expats least likely to drink kava in Luganville, Jess and I were somehow talked into selling a friend’s range of powdered instant kava (including raspberry and ginger flavoured kavas) to the fatfat Aussie tourists. So we became kava mamas for the day; kind of like island Smirnoff girls, but… not.

We assumed that kava’s reputation preceded it and it would sell itself, but we actually met with a lot more resistance than we were anticipating. Apparently P&O had issued a warning to all the passengers that kava was dangerous. Foul, yes; dangerous, no. So, as occasional drinkers we suddenly became staunch advocates determined to sing its praises.

We decided that our best bet was to target groups of young men (most of whom looked like they’d been drinking since the boat left Sydney). But even these guys were not interested to begin with, which just sent us into a ranty dialogue about the youth of today. Honestly, these were guys who would pride themselves on their recreational drug use and reckless disregard for drink driving laws, but were put off by a little warning about amoebic dysentery and liver damage (kava is actually far less damaging than alcohol).

Eventually we gave up any pretense of charm or flirtation – we simply mixed up sachets of the brew (we’d originally avoided this as the look and smell of kava is not its greatest selling feature!) and we hussled and berated people if they didn’t try it. The sales definitely picked up after that. People even came back for more! Greg also did his best to steer tourists our way, and a helpful Kiwi DJ from the cruise ship did his bit to give kava street cred with the ship’s wannabe R&B crowd.

Though I don’t really have any qualms about selling kava, the way that we had to push it made the whole thing feel like peddling smack to kiddies (which I assume is against the VSA Code of Conduct). Ugh. But we made quite a bit of money in the end, and John made a sizeable donation to the Coconut Crab project. And dealing for a good cause is OK, right? As long as you don’t get high on your own supply ; )

The littler paradise of Port Olry (and a first excursion with the Dive Boys)

So, with a truck full of supplies from the aborted Malekula trip, and schedules cleared for Friday, it was time for Plan B (once again). Andrew’s workmate, Rex, is from PNG but is married to a woman from Port Olry, and suggested that we come up for the weekend. The final of the Milk Cup, another Under 12 football tournament was being played that day, so the morning was spent setting up, then it was back up north for the weekend.

Port Olry is a village of approximately 1000 people, renown for fishing. Apparently, before independence, it had movie theatres and restaurants, I assume reflective of a strong French influence.

On arrival, we headed to Rex’s house to meet the family. Surrounded by tonnes of pikinini and some of the more rotund pigs I’ve seen, we storianed smol then headed to our accommodation in the village beside the beach. After settling into to our bungalow accommodation, we headed out with Rex to find a nakamal for some “welcome” kava before dinner at the newly opened restaurant: Le bouquet du Port Olry. The restaurant was very island style, ngatangora thatching, bamboo walls, with the added touch of Christmas lights and the latest larger than life coca-cola poster. As we finished our shells at the adjacent nakmal, a string band arrived and proceeded to serenade us with classic Vanuatu Songs: ‘island dress’, ‘pentecost girl’ etc. A sumptuous feast was then served, lots of local kakae and fish. We headed back to our bungalow in preparation for an early start the following day.

Rising with the sun, we all jumped in the boat to go for a wee tour around some of the islands, before Andrew spent the rest of the morning fishing. We cruised around Dolphin Island, on the lookout for turtles. The water was classic turquoise blue, with plenty of sandy beaches. As we came back into the beach at Port Orly, we finally spotted a large turtle, so Jess and I jumped into the water, in our clothes, in an attempt to get a closer look. While Andrew spent the next 4-5 hours fishing, we played cricket with the pikinini, storianed with some mama’s, roasted some yams and generally relaxed. Early in the afternoon Andrew finally arrived back with some rather warm fish in the bottom of the tinny. We roasted and ate one, leaving the rest for the locals, then packed up and made our way to Lonoc to catch up with the Dive Boys and their band of merry Baby Docs.

That evening and the following day was interspersed with a party, beach fire, swimming and general shenanigans. Had a quick trip over to Champagne Beach for more swimming and then back home with a quick kava at ‘turtle’, the general haunt of aquamarine and the baby doc entourage followed by a market kakae.

Sara Wedding

Sera, wan misis wearem wan island dress! Mo wan bigfala laplap


tufala papa blong danis


Having been back to NZ for a couple of weddings, my turn to experience the Vanuatu version finally dawned. A friend of mine, Marie-Michelle (whom I met on the Sarafenua going to Pentecost) was going to a wedding in a village called Sara, and wondered if I’ld like to accompany her.

Since it was a special occasion and all, we decided to get some island dresses made for the day… luckily in a Tahitian style which is a little less flouncy than the Vanuatu ‘motherhubbard’ dresses. So with an early morning wakeup, we headed up to Sara.

In classic Vanuatu fashion, there was plenty of ‘spel smol’. We arrived to rain and found shelter in the porch of a house. The church ceremony was due to start at 10am, but at the designated time, the bride, groom and wedding parties were still milling around in their general daywear. With a fair amount of rushing around, eventually the wedding parties emerged.

While there are some similarities with the generic western ‘white wedding’ there is plenty of island style:
- Island dresses and shirts for Africa: The families of the bride and groom each have a uniform, consisting of island dresses and island shirts in the same material. This not only adds colour to the day, but allows all the extended family to be involved.
- Cutting the cake straight after the wedding. The tradition of the cake as a dessert hasn’t quite reached Vanuatu wedding planners
- playplay blong man Ambae mo man Pentecost. Throughout the day you’re lible to get a dollop of baby powder or glitter from your favourite mama
- Doing the ‘island shuffle’ to Zouk music (it must just be the preferred music for weddings here?!)

Following the presentation of gifts from ol man Pentecost, the wedding feast was presented: massive laplaps prepared for different groups by different families in Sara Village. Each laplap is given to certain groups: uncles of the couple, mama’s, papa’s etc. I ended up at the mama’s laplap (being of an age where I should have had at least 4 pikinini by now) so sat down to a feast of yam laplap witem pork mo island cabbage.

Then it was time for wan smol dance before mifala ko bak long Luganville. By this stage all the mama’s were drinking cordial and home brewed whisky and having a great time dancing in a mass of colour, “whoop whoops!”, singing and laughing, so we had to join in with them. By this stage both the bride and groom were very inebriated, and were eventually helped home by a gaggle of mamas. Also joining in were three old fula’s who had by the looks of it been drinking (and dancing) all day. Was great to finally see plenty of mama’s dancing and a nice way to end the day.

Lukem yu Jess!!

With Jess's departure from Santo, I asked her to do a guest blog. Jess had her own stories to friends: the 'survivor episodes'... highly entertaining so I thought you'ld enjoy a round up from her : )


Sarah asked me to write a blog signing off on my time in Vanuatu, so I’m currently sitting in the netherworld of Port Vila and trying to be reflective. It’s harder than I expected. Mainly, that’s because the past year has been a chaotic range of experiences, emotions and observations. Everything defies accurate description and I feel like I am doing the experience a disservice to try.

How can I explain the food, staggering in its volume, blandness and lack of nutritional value, and still get you to appreciate the joy of a mama meal (cheap, hearty, MSG-loaded fare) or my addiction to yam and breakfast crackers?

I could tell you that I love walking down the main street and constantly shaking hands and storianing with people, mamas in bright island dresses and old men who are just as likely to be wearing a loin cloth as a second-hand T-shirt advertising a random plumbing business in central Australia. But it wouldn’t be an accurate picture if I left out the annoyance of groups of ni-Van boys calling out witty things like “Hey, Missus, I love you”.

The year has also been punctuated with frustrations; Big ones like the pervasive apathy at work, the tolerance of incompetence and misappropriation, and the tendency to both unquestioningly rely on, and frequently try to extort, white people; and small ones like constantly smelling like a gym towel, being weighed in at the airport, hearing how silly you sound speaking Bislama and having to strike 20 crappy Chinese matches before you can get one to light.

However, in spite of all of that, the balance for the year is tipped in favour of the good memories. The laughter, the sunset from the balcony, warmth of good people and strength of good friendships and having a soccer tournament in my honour definitely edge out the negative stuff.

In that spirit, I’ve compiled a list of highlights, things that I will miss, and some “lessons learned” (in preparation for the wanky Australian Youth Ambassador debrief…). It’s a testament to the good times that have been had that it was extremely difficult to narrow down the lists to a Top 5!

Highlights:
The Feehely Momorial Futbol Tournament
Spending a week in a village in north Ambrym to begin the adventure, learn some Bislama and get a taste for root vegetables and string band music
Easter weekend at Lonnoc – good food, good weather, great company: good times.
Gaua Arts Festival
Deck parties – cricket, drunken sailors, vile alcoholic concoctions and dancin’, sweet dancin’: all the best parties in Luganville happened on one of our decks.
[Runners-up: my first reef dive, underwater birthday cake, making island Christmas stockings, night swimming at Palakula and crashing a wedding and dancing to the same five Zouk songs for hours]

Things I will miss
The three Missus – Sarah, Jen, Andrew, and just generally being part of such a solid team
Riding in the back of the ute – this is, often quite literally, the only way to travel
The view of the East Coast as you round the corner at Sarunda
Earthquakes – the frequent gentle, or sometimes not so gentle, rumbles of the earth still give me a little rush every time
The little clicky finger pull ni-Vans do when they think something is funny (which is often)

Things I’ve learned:
A village that doesn’t have toilet paper, water, road access or a public phone within 2km will probably still have a generator, DVD player and a copy of “Rambo”.
If you stare at a group of geckoes on the ceiling for long enough, one of them is bound to fall off.
Regardless of the arrangement, people will arrive when (or if) they feel like it. Same goes for boats…
It’s OK, NOONE looks sexy in a wetsuit.
Good people make all the difference. Sarah is (in keeping with the uber-Australian persona I have unwittingly adopted here) a top sheila. Her levity, support and chocolate cake have helped to make this whole experience worthwhile.
So, on reflection, my sage advice for surviving a stint on a tropical island is to learn to laugh about things and enjoy the good stuff, take sweet chilli sauce and only buy Three Diamond matches. And take Sarah with you!